My friend gave a really good lesson at church on Sunday that I cannot stop thinking about. She taught about work and the blessings that come to you and others for doing it. It has made me think a lot about my new "job" as a stay at home mom. Up until last year I had worked (for a boss) for 15 years. While I loved the money that I earned, I also loved the recognition that came from my superiors. I loved being told I was doing a good job. I loved exceeding my goals. I loved being told I was doing a good job. I knew I was doing a good job based on money, results, reviews, and bosses telling me so. As a mom/wife I have struggled with knowing how I am doing a good job and knowing what I should be doing better. Are my results based on having clean/folded laundry, a home cooked dinner, groceries in the house, a clean/fed/happy baby, a clean house, paid bills, etc? It is definitely the best "job" that I have ever had, but I sometimes wish there was a coaching guide giving me my expectations. Is that weird? Is there something that you do in your own life as a mom that helps you to rate your performance?
Not weird at all. I'm totally there with you. If I've felt patient all day long, then it's a good day. But it's hard when there's no tangible accomplishments. My house is a disaster, it's taken me two-three times as long to do the laundry, but I think I'm doing a good job because my girls seem to be happy and I'm not falling apart at the seams.
ReplyDeleteI've found having an at-home hobby (sewing) to be helpful because then I can complete something while still being at home. You know, do something for me.
Because I work outside the home, I feel even more sensitive to how I am performing as a mother. I have found that it is best to ask for feedback from Trent. Every now and then I ask him what I can do better. Also I ask him for compliments when I need them. Seriously. I will ask him to tell me three NEW things he loves about me. (It used to be five, but then we went down to three because he was a big complainer.) And it really helps me feel better about my job as a mom and wife! By the way, I give you an A+ as a mom! Brody is one lucky boy.
ReplyDeleteI am with you Jen. Now that Cole is 2 and going through all his struggles, it makes me wonder if his delays are my fault. Even though I don't think they are, it is really hard to feel like you are not doing a good job. An actual W-2 job is WAY easier! You are awesome and Brody loves his mama.
ReplyDelete